Amazing question, very badly answered all over the internet. This is a greatly needed article where we will be putting things in their right order and giving the Bible the voice and not modern corrupt Christianity, which we know from Jesus is in a Babylon state. Are Christians allowed to date? Of course. We are living in a modern Puritan Christianity, which is not like the Bible. In the Old Testament, people were living differently. Is it ok to kiss, is it ok to touch someone you are not married with? This article will be very controversial. I know that my article on “Is sex out of marriage a sin in the Bible” already has many readers.
Are Christians Allowed to Date? Matthew 5
It all comes down to one verse that most modern Christians use to say that we cannot even look at a woman to lust. Question: How many couples in churches today got married without looking at each other? How many Christian couples married today did not say in their heart, “I want him or her,” before getting married? No one. It cannot be done, unless it is an arranged marriage.
This idea about not looking and wanting someone before marriage is a lie; it cannot exist. Everybody that ever got married said in their heart, “I want him as my husband.” One time someone told me, “But it is not lusting if you are contemplating marriage; it is holy courtship.” Something like this, which was very deceptive and a lie, as this person was trying to justify their belief.
This verse of Matthew 5 says: If any man looks on a woman to lust for her, he has committed adultery already in his heart. Reading the context, who is Jesus talking about? Married or single people? Jesus is talking in the context of marriage. This verse has nothing to do with single people. We can only covet someone who is already taken. You cannot covet someone who is single.
A lone apple tree in the forest—you do not covet it if you eat of the fruit. The same apple tree in a garden—you do covet. Why? Because this apple tree is already taken; it belongs to someone else. It is not the taking of the apple that is wrong; it is taking that which belongs to someone else. It is coveting. The same thing: it is not the marriage act that is wrong in adultery; it is taking someone who belongs to someone else. Are Christians allowed to date? It cannot be wrong, as the Bible says that people need to leave father and mother and get to know someone with whom they will spend eternity.
It would make no sense for God to say you cannot look at someone with sexual desires, but you must find someone with whom you will want to have sex for the rest of your life, and you must make sure you like the person before you marry them. This would be a contradiction. Of course God knows that before you get married, you will have a time when you will say in your heart:
I want this man as a sexual partner for the rest of my life.
Jesus above was only talking about married persons. If someone is married, of course we cannot look at them with lust; this is adultery already in our hearts. Are Christians allowed to date? Of course. How do you expect people to know each other unless they spend time together? This modern Christianity is a hoax.
Are Christians Allowed to Date? Sex Outside Marriage
Is it a sin to have sex outside marriage? Let us understand that God’s ideal will is for each man to have his own woman. But let us also understand that often in the Bible, the ideal cannot be done because of circumstances, because of God’s absolute will. Is fornication sex outside marriage? No. The word fornication is pornea in Greek. This word never means sex outside marriage.
This word means all sexual sins found in Leviticus chapters 15 to 18. These sins include adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, incest, and bestiality. The same way we look at clean and unclean food and conclude that pork is not fit to eat, because Leviticus tells us not to eat pork, which could not have been changed at the cross of Jesus.
The fact that pigs eat the trash of the earth and still do after Jesus died is similar. Leviticus has a list of sexual sins, which never mentions sex outside marriage. In fact, these lists in Leviticus chapters 15 to 18 say you shall not have sex with a (random) woman and her sister. If it was wrong to have sex with a random woman, why does the Bible mention it? Would it not say, “You shall not have sex with any random woman”?
Are Christians Allowed to Date? Did Sin Change?
The argument of many Christians is that sin has changed. Some time ago, and even one minute before Jesus died on the cross, God would have said, “This is your last opportunity to have sex with many women.” Many Christians believe sin changes according to time.
It is like saying a policeman can arrest people for speeding after 5 pm, but before that it is okay. This would mean God is partial and unrighteous. Sin never changes. The cross of Jesus means Jesus paid the same price for all human beings. Sin cannot change. God cannot excuse sin. God cannot close His eyes to lying, stealing, or murder. Yet Christians today believe God closes His eyes to sin.
No, sin does not change. Sin is sin yesterday, today, and forever. Sin cannot change. God cannot excuse sin for centuries and then suddenly say it is no longer sin. People who believe this think God changes laws like humans do.
Are Christians Allowed to Date? Hebrews 9
Here the Bible tells us that without shedding of blood there is no remission of sins. It means that all sins in the Old Testament required shedding of blood. When someone sinned, either an animal was killed and brought to the temple, or the person was killed.
In New Testament times, no sin can be forgiven unless it goes through the blood of Jesus. We ask forgiveness and Jesus forgives us. In Old Testament times, people had to bring animal blood for forgiveness.
The question is: why in cases of sex outside marriage is there no shedding of blood? In Deuteronomy 22 it gives examples. One and two show adultery where people are killed. But the third example is interesting.
It says the person is single and has sex. The man brings pieces of silver. Only because she lives with her father and was a virgin. Why is there no shedding of blood in this case of sex outside marriage? We also see that God makes a big difference between adultery and sex outside marriage. In adultery they are killed; in sex outside marriage, the man brings money.
Leviticus also says when a man and woman have sex, they wash themselves and are unclean until evening. This also proves that sex outside marriage is not necessarily a sin; there is no shedding of blood here either.
When David’s men were at war and hungry, they went to the priest who said they could eat only if they had kept themselves from women. Why would the priest say that if it was always sin? If it were sin, the priest would have said they had sinned and needed repentance.
When Samson had sex with a prostitute, he left the city and the Holy Spirit came upon him and he tore down the city gates. How can the Holy Spirit come upon a man who just had sex with a woman, if sex outside marriage is always sin? It does not make sense if we believe that.
There are many examples in the Bible that show this modern belief is not consistent. God has an ideal, but circumstances sometimes differ. Sometimes God’s people were in pagan countries. Sometimes other circumstances arose.
When Paul says it is better to marry than to burn, why would he say “better” rather than “never burn”? This shows complexity.
Are Christians Allowed to Date? A Concubine
What is a concubine? A concubine is someone with whom one has sexual relations without being married. In modern terms, this would be a girlfriend. In the Old Testament, many people had concubines. Some, like Solomon and King David, had hundreds.
The Bible does not mention all who had concubines. These men had wives and also concubines. Why would God allow this if it was wrong? David was a man after God’s own heart. God used David to write the Psalms.
How could God use David if he was unclean? It does not make sense. God can use people who are imperfect.
Are Christians Allowed to Date? A Conclusion on Sin
How could something be totally acceptable one minute before the cross and a great sin one minute after? Sin is sin yesterday, today, and forever.
Stealing, lying, and adultery were sin 4,000 years ago and are still sin today. God’s standards do not change.
What does God hate? What the Pharisees did: legalism, selfishness, lying, pride, and lack of love.
Final Thought
Another argument: if a man had multiple wives and girlfriends today, would you consider him holy? Most Christians would say no. Would you choose such a man as a pastor? No.
But if the same man lived 4,000 years ago like Solomon or David, many say he was holy. This shows inconsistency in interpretation.
2 Peter 1:21: For prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.
God chooses holy men. God is precise in whom He chooses.
David was a man after God’s own heart. Solomon was chosen by God. These men were used by God.
Sin is not redefined by human interpretation. God’s truth remains the same.
Have you received Jesus in your heart before? Repeat after me:
Father God, please forgive my sins, help and bless me. Give me Your righteousness. Help me to walk with You and follow Your Word and not society in the name of Jesus, Amen.
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